Please Help Me Correctly Direct My Hostility About This Jeffco AP U.S. History Kerfuffle

A little Q and can request for A from a good friend near JeffCo.

WhoAskedUs?

You guys. I think I need some help here on deciding who I should be pissed off at during this whole bangarang. Or maybe I just need to understand what I am missing so that I can more accurately judge the people around me who are all up in arms about this.

In trying to wrap my head around what the crux is of the argument on the APUSH (Advanced Placement US History) curriculum change that is prompting all the sick-outs and walk –outs in Jefferson County. I know it’s silly and antiquated, but as usual, I’ve gone and done some research before forming an opinion. And I am befuddled.

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The seasonal downpour comes early this year

Usually around November, when the skies become grey on a regular basis, and the flourish of summer becomes dormant, my eyes well up and my mood darkens alongside my surroundings. I grow quiet and calm to match.

I’m sure a Dr. would label this as “seasonal depression” or some similar “problem”. Recommending exercise and a healthy balanced diet (which I do both anyway), and this little magic blue pill that makes it all go away.

That little magic blue pill isn’t the answer, doc. Why is it not ok to be sad sometimes? Fear of irrational behavior? Let’s just make the world perfect and happy, science will fix it all! After my only sister, my only older sibling, overdosed on magic pills that were supposed to “fix” her- I choose to remain magic pill free.

The sadness this year comes early on account of a reality check. So instead of doing anything irrational, I ration my life. I say to my family, ” you get this and she gets that, he gets this every so often, and I will continue to cook, clean, and care for everyone.” But I am also doing this and this for me. I don’t tell them the last part, I just do it. If there is an issue they will be gently reminded that I am also a human and need to care for myself, or there will be nothing human about me left once they have all taken what they want.

And so I ration. I ration how often I speak and what I say. I have no excitement left, for that takes more than I can muster and it’s better to not fake it- children notice everything. I ration my chores and make sure needs are met, the extras I often provide must wait until spring.

This is the only thing I can do, because it is a form of suffering. Balance is required to overcome the feeling of malcontent. I must enforce boundaries for my own sake.

Sometimes you just know, ya know?

After a stressful evening surrounding the notification of a minor financial setback (letter from the IRS- ahem), I was informed of something rather hurtful- albeit true.
Something I knew but kept trying to convince myself wasn’t really true, because it would be easier for everyone if it wasn’t.

But it is true and that sucks.

There are things in this world we can change and we can control, and then there are things we cannot. We cannot change who we are, but we can control ourselves. We cannot change others, but we can influence them. Sometimes it doesn’t matter because the reality of the situation is what it is.
I overheard someone once say they hate when people use the expression, “it is what it is.” This didn’t sit well with me because it is acknowledgement and acceptance of reality, whether you like it or not.

So today, instead of my usual optimism and productive offerings I sit quietly and reflect on my situation. The best thing I can do is take time to make the right choices, because after all, my choices affect everyone else in my life.