What kind of writer am I?

I wrestle with this topic in my own way, at some point, almost every day.

There is this quest as a philosopher. It is to truly understand and give a proper account of the world, without bias and misinformation. Lose all assumptions and open your mind to really get a fair look at the world, and not just with your eyes. Using your mind to make sense of it all, and then help others along the way.

But you see, there are many different types of philosophers, and this only describes one sort. So I see that we are all different in many ways, yet we are all the same in many others. How we respect and honor one another, it seems so easy and obvious. How do even the highest of moral beings make quick and irrational mistakes?

I want to be an informed and helpful writer. So I analyze every topic I would write about and rule out the prospect, the ideas I have, simply because I feel the inadequacy of properly labeling the “voice” I may have. There are styles, I don’t know what they are all called and I chose to learn more about science, than grammar. I may not be great at math, but I can spell flawlessly. (Most misspelled words you will read of mine, are because I need to trim my fingernails and my fingers keep slipping off the keys, lol right!) It seems as though writing is reserved for those who study English or History. Purpose and passion is where I come in. But where is the value? Maybe inspirational messages for tea companies…

There are these things about writing, the permanence of your word. Yet, the ability to edit and truly have what you really mean, out there, for the world to see. I love the editing process, but I only do quick edits for my own writing… I have to remind myself, the message is important but I need to always read with fresh eyes before publishing.

There are timelines, and timeliness, not the same. Well recorded events and current events, often with the most pressing messages necessary. But accuracy is the key- “How Urgency Can Provoke Misinformation”, a topic I will write about one day, as it is commonly accepted and sometimes correction is less obvious, so you end up with people with the wrong understanding. What happens when they quickly respond according to inaccurate information? We have a responsibility to be accurate. So dig a little deeper when researching something, especially something important.

I have to keep my writing brief and to the point. It’s all I have time for. As a person with a responsibility to my family, there are many tugs on my time. So I have to stop ruling out my ideas, and make time for the important ones.

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The seasonal downpour comes early this year

Usually around November, when the skies become grey on a regular basis, and the flourish of summer becomes dormant, my eyes well up and my mood darkens alongside my surroundings. I grow quiet and calm to match.

I’m sure a Dr. would label this as “seasonal depression” or some similar “problem”. Recommending exercise and a healthy balanced diet (which I do both anyway), and this little magic blue pill that makes it all go away.

That little magic blue pill isn’t the answer, doc. Why is it not ok to be sad sometimes? Fear of irrational behavior? Let’s just make the world perfect and happy, science will fix it all! After my only sister, my only older sibling, overdosed on magic pills that were supposed to “fix” her- I choose to remain magic pill free.

The sadness this year comes early on account of a reality check. So instead of doing anything irrational, I ration my life. I say to my family, ” you get this and she gets that, he gets this every so often, and I will continue to cook, clean, and care for everyone.” But I am also doing this and this for me. I don’t tell them the last part, I just do it. If there is an issue they will be gently reminded that I am also a human and need to care for myself, or there will be nothing human about me left once they have all taken what they want.

And so I ration. I ration how often I speak and what I say. I have no excitement left, for that takes more than I can muster and it’s better to not fake it- children notice everything. I ration my chores and make sure needs are met, the extras I often provide must wait until spring.

This is the only thing I can do, because it is a form of suffering. Balance is required to overcome the feeling of malcontent. I must enforce boundaries for my own sake.

Sometimes you just know, ya know?

After a stressful evening surrounding the notification of a minor financial setback (letter from the IRS- ahem), I was informed of something rather hurtful- albeit true.
Something I knew but kept trying to convince myself wasn’t really true, because it would be easier for everyone if it wasn’t.

But it is true and that sucks.

There are things in this world we can change and we can control, and then there are things we cannot. We cannot change who we are, but we can control ourselves. We cannot change others, but we can influence them. Sometimes it doesn’t matter because the reality of the situation is what it is.
I overheard someone once say they hate when people use the expression, “it is what it is.” This didn’t sit well with me because it is acknowledgement and acceptance of reality, whether you like it or not.

So today, instead of my usual optimism and productive offerings I sit quietly and reflect on my situation. The best thing I can do is take time to make the right choices, because after all, my choices affect everyone else in my life.

Don’t Assume Another Intends to Offend

Conflict is inevitable when there are multiple different interests at play.
The best thing we can do is try to look beyond the current persuasion and think kindly of others.

How often does something happen and your first instinct is that the other person sucks. It can be something so trivial as being cut off in line at the store; or a passing comment made by a stranger, leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t understand their situation as clearly as you think. There might be some very justifiable explanation for their actions, something you can’t even think of- maybe because your mind is clouded from your own busy day. It could be a bigger deal, like working with an uncooperative neighbor to pay for a fence, something that consumes hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars. Are they really just trying to get the best out of you? Resource sharing is a consistent conflict, we all want to make sure we have enough for our own personal security.

We can’t live our lives taking things so personal, assuming another person intends to offend us. How miserable to think poorly of others on a regular basis. To judge them as if they are judging you poorly. We will never fully understand other humans, only ourselves. It is up to us to assume there is no offense intended, unless of course, they make it clear that is the intent (which is not the topic here).

People get offended easily and it is much easier to blame someone else. Take ownership, be the better person, and try to understand where they are coming from. We have to each reach further than half way across the aisle to cooperate fully, leaving some wiggle room for those who aren’t quite there yet.

Be the example by choosing to see others, and their intentions, positively.

Power of the Positive

I went to a fast-serve lunch with my family recently. While we were there, I pleasantly engaged in conversation with (almost) every person who contacted me. It made our meal more relaxed, and every single person said some version of, “have a nice day”. When you leave, and you reflect on the time you just spent, was it positive? Every person can do this, all the time. We just have to try.

I guess you could say I am an extrovert. Finding a common way to connect with strangers isn’t always difficult, but I have many years of professional experience engaging in conversation with strangers. Until recently I just looked at it as part of my personality.

There is a new incentive at work now.

Part of my mission is to create the world that ought to be.

I have young children and would like for the world to be a better place than it is now. I have an obligation to work towards making it that way, can’t expect everyone else to do it for us. I am a member of society, so as a form of participation I try to coerce others to be more positive and look at things in a way that is beneficial to all. If my “gift” is being able to engage with strangers (aka the public), and perhaps I can influence their way of looking at the world, even if just for a moment, even if just a tiny little eensy weensy bit.

There is a subtle method, though. You can’t just go up to everyone and be like “The world is great and so are you! Let’s all just be great people together!” People will think you are crazy and avoid you, at least people like my husband. He “hates most people”, supposedly, but it’s really that he is just tired of the bs. So he clicks “off” in his brain when it comes to others, reminding me why we are married. I am his buffer to the world. I am the middleman that gets things done efficiently, and with a smile, so he doesn’t have to deal with others.

Best trick- Make them laugh. You have to find some common thread that you can identify with, and turn it on it’s head. Once they laugh, it’s like putty. You can work with it and turn it into something it might not have been without your influence.

There are so many people in the world like my husband. Positive people can take that attitude or mentality or whatever you want to call it and turn it around. We can get inside and make the necessary changes, kind of like little elf helpers. The best part is, they don’t even know you are doing it. It just happens. All it takes is the right comment, at the right time, to influence their thinking in a direction that is beneficial to all.

Can we all identify with one person, one person who needs us to make their day a little better, without them even knowing?

The Influence of Common Women

For inspiration and support, I often look up to those I respect and know well.
I am fortunate enough to say my mother is among these influential women, but there are so many more.
The best part is I don’t have to share her with that many other people, she is a great resource for strength and encouragement in my life, and she is present. I am grateful and fortunuate.

We don’t have to worship those very successful and spotlighted women, not every day at least.

Common woman can be very influential.

Look around and notice them, they are everywhere.
They are the grease in the wheels of the world.
They are the ones who smile at the deli counter because they are exchanging words with another human.
They are polite, and respectful.
They offer insight from their own precious experiences, they will help you through your harder times.

They understand the world and seek to make it better. They are setting an example every day, every minute, and they know it.

Take a minute to yourself and reflect on your influences.
Who are the common people you look up to and respect?

Why I Chose Philosophy

When entering college (the first time) I was pretty vivacious.

The fire that ignited from my very wonderful high school years at http://www.jeffcoopen.org/ made life a very out of the ordinary experience for me.

By the way, view the about page if you think you understood educational goals before.

After seeing where my love of learning stemmed from, you might see the common struggle in what Open Schoolers refer to as “the real world”. Funny thing is we all had to go through this awkward early 20’s experience where we had to try to be part of the existing social paradigm, and as adults we grow to realize it’s not as important as we thought to be part of this different community. I am finding myself engage with other like-minded individuals, rather than trying to conform to who I thought the rest of the world wanted me to be. I think we are all better off by doing this, but it takes time and reflection.

Coming from modest means I wanted to get the biggest bang for my buck in college. I attempted grants and scholarships, but funny thing is we didn’t have grades in high school. No grades = No GPA… applications alone were enough work because of this. I tried to skirt classes by taking others, for example: I didn’t meet the math entrance requirements for College Algebra but didn’t want to waste a $emester on pre-algebra (my mom tutors math) so I took College Algebra based Physics. Not sure why I thought this was a good idea but I passed, even got an ‘A’ my second semester. So then I thought physics was fun and worked towards all the prerequisites to be a physics major. After failing my Calculus based physics course, miserably at that, I figured maybe it wasn’t in the cards. After all, I only kind of liked it and the career prospects were not really going to fulfill my life-long desire to understand the parts of the world I was truly curious about.

Philosophy spoke to me.

I would get up extra early to study philosophy. I was waiting at the door of the coffee shops until they would open so I could get a warm cup of joe and sit in with my next new assignment. Philosophy was always the first book I would pick up to study when I had the time. I would highlight the excerpts because I was unquestionably going to keep this textbook.

Philosophy is not a class, it is a discipline.

People always say to me, “oh, I loved that class.” I find this amusing because it is not just one class you had to take in college. It is the thinking that transformed and created every other discipline. It is what inspired psychology (philosophy of mind), science (hello Aristotle), political science (ever heard of Plato- “The Republic”, perhaps Macciavelli rings a little true in our given political climate), and all others.

Philosophy gives you the tools to critically analyze and truly understand.

We question everything in philosophy. Our biases become apparent through this experience. We can free ourselves from them, or we can back into a corner defending them. In philosophy, the process of setting up your problem to solve must be precise and accurate. There is no b.s. allowed, it is obviously baseless and intentionally confusing.

The stigma isn’t true.

Philosophy majors don’t just care about what the bark on the trees is made out of, please remind my spouse. We are concerned with the nature of this world, hint, hint. We are trying to figure it all out, and we demand rigor and deep analysis. Often we explore things we consider unknowable, yet further examination won’t hurt. We feel gratification when reading the works of a great thinker who came before us and there is an “aha!” moment, we connect with the message. We get it, because it makes sense. This isn’t to say we have to agree whole-heartedly with the view.

We have to defend our reasoning to seasoned professionals, every time.

People think it’s just a bunch of hippies sitting around with nothing better to do, wondering about the world. Not quite. This is a very intense discipline. You won’t succeed with mere fascination. There is application of self, and critical analysis of everything that comes into or out of your mind. Professors of philosophy got as far as they did because they are practiced, and you have to prove to them you understand and can expand. The nature of things examined in philosophy don’t already have a script, and if they do, you aren’t really doing philosophy. You write the new script by doing. Reading is reading, engaging as it is, it is reviewing and trying to comprehend past works.

Career training doesn’t matter to philosophy majors.

Ok, this might sound scary. We aren’t training for a specific career, but we are learning very important things that will carry us forward into the right career. You might work as an advocate, a speechwriter, a poet, or even the person who makes all the cool quotes for a tea company. We all (meaning everyone, not just philosophers) shape the world, and philosophers know it. People often giggle, and wonder why even bother. Philosophy will only make you a better person. The jobs/careers for philosophy majors are plentiful, you just have to know what you are good at.

Philosophers aim to make the world a better place.

This is why I chose philosophy.

30 Years Old

Let diligence temper my ambition.
Let ambition fuel my success.
Let success be graceful and noble.

 

About 3 weeks from now is my 31st birthday. I wrote this note last year, to guide my way into this newfound adulthood of thirties.

Looking back on the year passed, and wondering where I grew, where I failed, and what can make the next year great.

I am glad I unleashed the beast in me and began to write. I must approach it will care, and thoughtfulness. I must be modest and accept defeat, but award my accomplishments. I must move forward and strive to improve in this endeavour (yes, I like the british ‘u’ in certain words…)

Should we all take this moment, our birthdays, and reflect on what we can do better for the world and ourselves? Can we afford the serious time and critically analyze our year prior, take note of the mistakes and learn from them? I think we can, I think we all can….

Next years poem is on the way, stay tuned!

Perfectionism

When reviewing my article “I am a Writer”, I noticed something written at the end. I question you if your writing is perfect.

What does “perfect” mean?

Is there even such a thing?

The point of communication is to, well, communicate. So, if through punctuation and proper enunciation of words the message is delivered… did communication occur? Would this mean that following the written language rules is unnecessary, so long as the efforts result with a clear channel of understanding. Now I could reference all these fancy textbooks I have read, and giving credit to my local College (now University!) for the training and guidance I received while paying tuition and other related expenses of higher education; I will save you the academic rigor and jargon. Quite simply consider:

If a goal of communication is understanding, does it really matter how we get there?

Does “perfect” always have to mean following the rules set forth? Now, we could say the rules are there for a reason, or because they are true. I give credit to the notion that organization functions better than chaos, but that is only when there is a goal to be achieved. Wouldn’t you say chaos can be really fun sometimes, maybe the unpredictability is refreshing.

Here is another quest for you, take notice of the words people could have said but didn’t. As a writer (or reader) do you think you know where something is going but it’s not as expected? Does this make you a better writer, sidestepping the obvious and choosing the unusual presentation of your idea because maybe, just maybe, that is part of the message itself?

Notice the details, are they intentional? I hope my readers don’t view my work as careless or sloppy, quite the contrary… provoking thought is my goal. Read along as we explore. examine. everything.

Next stop: tbd