Social networking increases our ability to connect with friends and former acquaintances. It also gives us power. Power is a valuable tool, and can construct or destruct. If you are confused with how it gives us power, let me elaborate. It is our “platform” so to speak, our pedestal to prop ourselves up, in some cases above others. When we prop ourselves up, we can create a sense of security in our social standing and acceptance among those we covet. What we neglect to notice is how we can affect others in this process. While we are busy constructing our view of our life for others to peek into, we are destructing the confidence of others around us. The power we feel from putting our life on a pedestal, with all the perfect pictures, comments we add to our friends pictures, and carefully crafted image of our life; we fail to notice those around us who struggle with feeling adequate.
I read an article about the restructuring of the news source Indian Country Today, and it struck a nerve. The last question the interviewer asked was what is an important issue that needed attention. The response: “The teen suicide rate on Indian reservations is higher than anywhere else in the world.” Not the country, not a specific state, the entire world.
What does this have to do with social media? I can’t draw the lines exactly, I haven’t been on a reservation since 1999. Well before social media was even a thing, but it was on it’s way. What I can attest to is how the sense of feeling adequate in the face of the world is critical in constructing your life. On the flip side, when you feel inadequate, whether on your own or in comparison to others, destructing your life becomes a possibility.
We watch the girl we barely know go on vacation, from our cell phone on facebook while riding a bus to school, or from our couch with a box of tissues. We compare our life to hers, why we can’t go on vacation, or our vacation wasn’t as… epic. What we don’t see, and many others have written about this, is what her vacation was really like. All we see is what the person wants us to see. That is not the reality, it’s only a version, a constructed version.
I wish it was easier, sharing the beauty of our lives, our joys and happy times. Without hurting others in the process. It can be. What we really need is the actual human connection. I know that stepping out of the facebook realm I have missed a lot of what others I once knew share about their lives. I look at it as if they were going to share their vacation with me, I would know about it outside of the mass sharing index we use to catalog our life. I do know that when I look at my daughter’s and they are riding their bikes, or learning multiplication, or building forts… I see them. I don’t see a photo opportunity to show everyone else. I enjoy the moments, and savor the time we spend growing and learning together.
I have friends and family without kids. Some by choice, others by the waves of the universe. I know that their feelings of inadequacy may be hidden when they comment about how sweet, or when they scroll past and leave no comment because inside they are hurting. This is why I don’t do it. There are friends and acquaintances who will miss out on what I don’t share, and I love to see the honesty in what some people do share.
I wrestle with this topic in my own way, at some point, almost every day.
There is this quest as a philosopher. It is to truly understand and give a proper account of the world, without bias and misinformation. Lose all assumptions and open your mind to really get a fair look at the world, and not just with your eyes. Using your mind to make sense of it all, and then help others along the way.
But you see, there are many different types of philosophers, and this only describes one sort. So I see that we are all different in many ways, yet we are all the same in many others. How we respect and honor one another, it seems so easy and obvious. How do even the highest of moral beings make quick and irrational mistakes?
I want to be an informed and helpful writer. So I analyze every topic I would write about and rule out the prospect, the ideas I have, simply because I feel the inadequacy of properly labeling the “voice” I may have. There are styles, I don’t know what they are all called and I chose to learn more about science, than grammar. I may not be great at math, but I can spell flawlessly. (Most misspelled words you will read of mine, are because I need to trim my fingernails and my fingers keep slipping off the keys, lol right!) It seems as though writing is reserved for those who study English or History. Purpose and passion is where I come in. But where is the value? Maybe inspirational messages for tea companies…
There are these things about writing, the permanence of your word. Yet, the ability to edit and truly have what you really mean, out there, for the world to see. I love the editing process, but I only do quick edits for my own writing… I have to remind myself, the message is important but I need to always read with fresh eyes before publishing.
There are timelines, and timeliness, not the same. Well recorded events and current events, often with the most pressing messages necessary. But accuracy is the key- “How Urgency Can Provoke Misinformation”, a topic I will write about one day, as it is commonly accepted and sometimes correction is less obvious, so you end up with people with the wrong understanding. What happens when they quickly respond according to inaccurate information? We have a responsibility to be accurate. So dig a little deeper when researching something, especially something important.
I have to keep my writing brief and to the point. It’s all I have time for. As a person with a responsibility to my family, there are many tugs on my time. So I have to stop ruling out my ideas, and make time for the important ones.
I have three very young ladies as a captive audience. Needless to say, this whole parenting in contemporary times has sure taken it’s toll on my soul. Did I mention I hold a B.A. in Philosophy? Yep, and add a few ethics classes, lots of upper division political science courses, don’t forget my minor is in Environmental Studies. I was what you would call an “intentional student”. I didn’t take classes for the sake of taking them, I took them because they were interesting to me and I wanted to understand more about the topic so I could make informed decisions about the world and my life in the years to come.
College is very expensive. Ask my husband- we will be paying for those important classes for years to come.
Today I hopped around my home in the middle of the night, hoping my restless 5 year old wouldn’t wake up and catch the Easter Bunny delivering wonderful sugary delights in corners and nooks of the couch. I decided that five major retailers in my area offered valuable enough wares to enhance our life. Upon checking out the sales clerk asks, “How are you?” Of course I reluctantly offer the courtesy reply, “Good, how are you?” She mumbled some polite response, expected of her on a Saturday night around 7pmish when she would much rather be at Freddy’s with all her friends horking down milkshakes or perhaps perusing the movies with that cute boy she’s had a crush on since 8th grade. I joke about having finally found the Easter Bunny. She doesn’t really understand and neither do I.
I can’t wait to hear them squeal! The “stuff” they get from the Easter Bunny isn’t that much different from what other Easter Bunny’s deliver I am sure. It is difficult to purchase gifts when your inherent nature is to resist a consumer driven society. So here I have to wrestle with offering my children a somewhat normal childhood in relation to their peers so they can understand one another, yet still have a supportive backdrop of how things really “ought to be”. We shouldn’t be teaching our children that life is just about “stuff” But we should show them through our own discipline that there is also room for spontaneity and celebration. So I select an item that each will need, love, and hopefully appreciate. This year I opted for pajamas and sandals (both of which they need), a painting craft, and a bright pink fancy skirt (for the three year old who loves all things girly), and a pair of stretch pants (which my five year old will love the purple color and softness).
The “baby” (now almost 2 years old), is the wildcard. I never know what she would actually want and with two older sisters she has almost everything she could need at her fingertips anyway. I spent time coloring a little mask from the craft store for her to practice colors and pretend she is a cat, she gets a decent variety of sidewalk chalk, and two soft bunnies (which we already had packed in the Easter bin- no purchase necessary). She also got a hefty dividend of the chocolate share this year, hope daddy doesn’t mind the shaft.
My children are actually pretty naughty and can act spoiled, too. I think many people are wondering why I would write this post about the “stuff they get”, and then confess that my kids are bratty sometimes. Of course they are, some will obviously say, look at what you give them! These are often times people who don’t have children of their own but think they might understand something about actually raising a child. Silly people. Or perhaps it is a generation of parents that didn’t have the dilemmas we have now, and were raised with a different sort of depravation and strict values themselves. So discipline is another sort of monster when you are actually encouraged to physically strike your child when they disrespect you, not in 2014 though- that’s a good reason to find the cops at your door. We have to provide this “balanced reward system”. I will be the first to admit- it is difficult to implement. What- with each new phase of childhood creeping in at every milestone, and don’t forget the seasonal changes that provide new opportunities for mischief and want of desire. There is of course our fascination with electronics- or just anything that lights up and makes noise upon our command.
In 2014 American Society you are expected to have an easter egg hunt for your kids, just like you had as a child. Your precious offspring will be youtubed, facebooked, and twittered about all day. It will be fun, you will smile, and they will eat a crapload of candy. Or perhaps you are breaking the rules, maybe you went camping and got rained on all night (if you were in NoCo I will place a bet on it!). Maybe, just maybe, you didn’t do anything. Some little people I know will find a bunny hopping around their yard in the morning, funny how I am a stranger to these kids but can know the Easter Bunny personally and the little ones have no clue what is coming. Certainly my eldest will excitedly report once she arrives home from school on Monday about Oliver and Elliott, how it’s so unfair, and that we must meet this bunny ASAP. I fact, here is the phone, call his mom and schedule a playdate!
Those of you who found the Easter Bunny this year, will quite possibly vow to do it differently next year. We all know the truth… it is likely you will pull out the same Rubbermaid tub from wally world labeled “Easter”, and do it all over again. There will be a year when the surprise is gone, and that will be the first year I am the most glad I found the Easter Bunny all the previous years.
I attended the IDEC 2013 (International Democratic Education Conference) http://www.idec2013.org/ specifically to participate in a workshop involving Jefferson County Open School http://www.jeffcoopen.org/. First I must say, the word “Democratic” does not mean the opposite of “Republican”. Of course the word itself has political implications, meaning every individual has a say, and political meaning the organization of people. In this context, however, we are speaking of education. This translates to mean, every person in the educational community has a say, intending to include the student.
I learned a lot about the changes that are taking place in education across the world, there were many attendees from Korea, inklings from Europe, China, and other parts of the US. I am sure there were attendees from other countries that I did not get the pleasure of meeting.
Some countries are on the verge of breaking, or at least trying to break free of oppressive governments, or oppressive ways of life that are taking a stronghold on their culture and future. These educators are working to make changes from within the educational institutions to empower the individual, and create the necessary paradigm shifts within their societies using education as a powerful tool. The northern European countries I encountered seemed as though they are not trying to break free from governmental control of education so much as they are seeking to further perpetuate the individual spirit and enlighten the mind through alternative methods, possibly creating a more self-aware learner. A learner that chooses what they learn and is aware of their interests by having the freedom of pursuit.
The individuals I met from the US were from a variety of different backgrounds. Some were not educators but worked with at-risk youth and this conference helped spur ideas for them to approach alternative methods of reaching out. Many were homeschoolers, or worked with/for organizations knitted to homeschoolers. Many were affiliated with organizations that are involved in education one way or another, but are not schools themselves, and the hybrids always exist.
There were certainly, and always will be the bulls#!%%3rs too. The sellers. The ones who don’t really have a contribution but want to be known, or want to profit from the event. I came across a couple but it was not overwhelming. Thank goodness for that.
I found out about a program in my area called Innovation Labs. The website is www.redefineschool.com, and I poked around a little before writing this. I just might have to get in touch and see what I can do to help the educational community in my school district.
And then there is AERO. The Alternative Education Resource Organization, which can be visited via http://www.educationrevolution.org/. This is a great network of alternative education resources, if you are interested in the alternatives in your area, or perhaps just in your interest it might be worth taking a gander.
In the end I can say there is a lot of movement within the realm of reforming education, and there has been for quite some time. It seems to be the conflict, however, that an alternative system only works for a small group of people. When you have a lot of students to manage, the oversight has to be systematic. And yes, the drawback is the uniformity of education, but the advantage is cohesiveness and coherency. I think what many educators who are involved in Democratic Education are pushing to change is the way we view our understanding of how the system should function.
The afternoon workshop I chose to attend was titled “Intersection of Formal and Informal Education”. There was some controversy as to whether there is even a difference, and the underlying assumption among all the participants (at least it seemed this way) was that an “Informal” education was better or more important in some way. Sometimes these things go unspoken, but are present and unquestioned.
In my Philosophical studies I have come to realize one very important thing about life, and I remind people of this on a regular basis. There is idealism- what things ought to be like, and there is realism- how things are. We can strive for the ideal but the realism sets in when we accept that there are practical limitations.
In the case of education, we have the application of “Democratic” education as the practical limitation. This means for each educator how to facilitate and manage, and oversee, and guide, and mentor a large body of individual needs. Every educator would be spread so thin the quality of their work would necessarily be undermined. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. The systems (or un”systematic” systems) that are present and successful in alternative education tend to be of the smaller student:teacher ratio, and of the smaller subset of the population.
One person being interviewed said it all in one word: money.
Until our educational systems are seen as relevant enough to warrant enough of our collective contributions, there will not be enough individualized attention in education. We will have systems in place that are best suited to address the more basic needs of every student, even if the approach is rigorous and boring. As my educator friend said to me, “how does 2 teachers take 80 students on a weeklong backpacking trip?” My answer, now clear to me, “you don’t.. we do”.
That is the key. Education is not something someone else does for us. It is something we all do together, and for each other. Education is not something that happens in a building, or on a chalkboard. I mean, it can happen there too, but real learning comes from everywhere and anywhere. We have to not only open our eyes, but our minds too. We all learn in many different places, of course. I think it is important to recognize when we are learning, and how we are learning so we can strengthen and perpetuate our methods to be most effective.
Conflict is inevitable when there are multiple different interests at play.
The best thing we can do is try to look beyond the current persuasion and think kindly of others.
How often does something happen and your first instinct is that the other person sucks. It can be something so trivial as being cut off in line at the store; or a passing comment made by a stranger, leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t understand their situation as clearly as you think. There might be some very justifiable explanation for their actions, something you can’t even think of- maybe because your mind is clouded from your own busy day. It could be a bigger deal, like working with an uncooperative neighbor to pay for a fence, something that consumes hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars. Are they really just trying to get the best out of you? Resource sharing is a consistent conflict, we all want to make sure we have enough for our own personal security.
We can’t live our lives taking things so personal, assuming another person intends to offend us. How miserable to think poorly of others on a regular basis. To judge them as if they are judging you poorly. We will never fully understand other humans, only ourselves. It is up to us to assume there is no offense intended, unless of course, they make it clear that is the intent (which is not the topic here).
People get offended easily and it is much easier to blame someone else. Take ownership, be the better person, and try to understand where they are coming from. We have to each reach further than half way across the aisle to cooperate fully, leaving some wiggle room for those who aren’t quite there yet.
Be the example by choosing to see others, and their intentions, positively.
After careful deliberation this is what I have come to understand.
The World Needs Better People.
Who is the World?
Who is everyone?
It’s you and I.
What is a better person?
It’s you and I choosing better actions.
Now. Oh, and tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives.
Things can only get better for all of us!
Everywhere you go.
Consider everything you do. Then try your hardest to make the best choice.
The last time I checked, there is only ONE EARTH for us to live on. International communities are realizing that the only way to function is to maintain some sort of unity. We must all work together. The only way to do this is to consider one another, and those unspoken for, and make the right choices every time we can. We can’t let money override our values. We can’t let those with the biggest voices have the power unless we know in our hearts and minds that they are working and speaking on behalf of the rest of the communities. We can’t be persuaded to view the world in a way that seems unfit just because someone influences us to think that everyone else thinks this way too. This is TYRANNY OF THE MAJORITY gone wrong and we will not tolerate it.
We all have brains, use them!
We all have hearts, use them!
We all have strength, use it!
Create the world as it ought to be
This is a goal of my lifelong education.
If I do it, will you?
I went to a fast-serve lunch with my family recently. While we were there, I pleasantly engaged in conversation with (almost) every person who contacted me. It made our meal more relaxed, and every single person said some version of, “have a nice day”. When you leave, and you reflect on the time you just spent, was it positive? Every person can do this, all the time. We just have to try.
I guess you could say I am an extrovert. Finding a common way to connect with strangers isn’t always difficult, but I have many years of professional experience engaging in conversation with strangers. Until recently I just looked at it as part of my personality.
There is a new incentive at work now.
Part of my mission is to create the world that ought to be.
I have young children and would like for the world to be a better place than it is now. I have an obligation to work towards making it that way, can’t expect everyone else to do it for us. I am a member of society, so as a form of participation I try to coerce others to be more positive and look at things in a way that is beneficial to all. If my “gift” is being able to engage with strangers (aka the public), and perhaps I can influence their way of looking at the world, even if just for a moment, even if just a tiny little eensy weensy bit.
There is a subtle method, though. You can’t just go up to everyone and be like “The world is great and so are you! Let’s all just be great people together!” People will think you are crazy and avoid you, at least people like my husband. He “hates most people”, supposedly, but it’s really that he is just tired of the bs. So he clicks “off” in his brain when it comes to others, reminding me why we are married. I am his buffer to the world. I am the middleman that gets things done efficiently, and with a smile, so he doesn’t have to deal with others.
Best trick- Make them laugh. You have to find some common thread that you can identify with, and turn it on it’s head. Once they laugh, it’s like putty. You can work with it and turn it into something it might not have been without your influence.
There are so many people in the world like my husband. Positive people can take that attitude or mentality or whatever you want to call it and turn it around. We can get inside and make the necessary changes, kind of like little elf helpers. The best part is, they don’t even know you are doing it. It just happens. All it takes is the right comment, at the right time, to influence their thinking in a direction that is beneficial to all.
Can we all identify with one person, one person who needs us to make their day a little better, without them even knowing?
This is interesting, and the comments ad the end made by the author are funny. I always wondered if my professors believed all the stuff we studied, or which ones were playing devil’s advocate in light of the general consensus among the student body. They critical analysis offered by philosophical undertakings does present a generally atheistic overview. Probably one of philosophies biggest questions is whether or not there is some sort of omni-presence.
Over at his website, Sean Carroll has called my attention to a paper by David Bourget and David J. Chalmers called “What do philosophers believe?” (free download here, reference below). I must admit I’ve only scanned the paper, but the interesting results (highlighted by Sean) reflect whether or not the philosophers agree with various viewpoints and claims.
The survey population is this:
Instead, we chose as a target group all regular faculty members in 99 leading departments of philosophy. These include the 86 Ph.D.-granting departments in Englishspeaking countries rated 1.9 or above in the Philosophical Gourmet Report. They also include ten departments in non-English-speaking countries (all from continental Europe) and three non-Ph-D.-granting departments. These thirteen departments were chosen in consultation with the editor of the Gourmet Report and a number of other philosophers, on the grounds of their having strength in analytic philosophy comparable to the other 86 departments. The overall list included 62…
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