The seasonal downpour comes early this year

Usually around November, when the skies become grey on a regular basis, and the flourish of summer becomes dormant, my eyes well up and my mood darkens alongside my surroundings. I grow quiet and calm to match.

I’m sure a Dr. would label this as “seasonal depression” or some similar “problem”. Recommending exercise and a healthy balanced diet (which I do both anyway), and this little magic blue pill that makes it all go away.

That little magic blue pill isn’t the answer, doc. Why is it not ok to be sad sometimes? Fear of irrational behavior? Let’s just make the world perfect and happy, science will fix it all! After my only sister, my only older sibling, overdosed on magic pills that were supposed to “fix” her- I choose to remain magic pill free.

The sadness this year comes early on account of a reality check. So instead of doing anything irrational, I ration my life. I say to my family, ” you get this and she gets that, he gets this every so often, and I will continue to cook, clean, and care for everyone.” But I am also doing this and this for me. I don’t tell them the last part, I just do it. If there is an issue they will be gently reminded that I am also a human and need to care for myself, or there will be nothing human about me left once they have all taken what they want.

And so I ration. I ration how often I speak and what I say. I have no excitement left, for that takes more than I can muster and it’s better to not fake it- children notice everything. I ration my chores and make sure needs are met, the extras I often provide must wait until spring.

This is the only thing I can do, because it is a form of suffering. Balance is required to overcome the feeling of malcontent. I must enforce boundaries for my own sake.

Don’t Assume Another Intends to Offend

Conflict is inevitable when there are multiple different interests at play.
The best thing we can do is try to look beyond the current persuasion and think kindly of others.

How often does something happen and your first instinct is that the other person sucks. It can be something so trivial as being cut off in line at the store; or a passing comment made by a stranger, leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t understand their situation as clearly as you think. There might be some very justifiable explanation for their actions, something you can’t even think of- maybe because your mind is clouded from your own busy day. It could be a bigger deal, like working with an uncooperative neighbor to pay for a fence, something that consumes hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars. Are they really just trying to get the best out of you? Resource sharing is a consistent conflict, we all want to make sure we have enough for our own personal security.

We can’t live our lives taking things so personal, assuming another person intends to offend us. How miserable to think poorly of others on a regular basis. To judge them as if they are judging you poorly. We will never fully understand other humans, only ourselves. It is up to us to assume there is no offense intended, unless of course, they make it clear that is the intent (which is not the topic here).

People get offended easily and it is much easier to blame someone else. Take ownership, be the better person, and try to understand where they are coming from. We have to each reach further than half way across the aisle to cooperate fully, leaving some wiggle room for those who aren’t quite there yet.

Be the example by choosing to see others, and their intentions, positively.

Help Wanted: Better People

After careful deliberation this is what I have come to understand.

The World Needs Better People.

Who is the World?

It’s everyone!

Who is everyone?

It’s you and I.

What is a better person?

It’s you and I choosing better actions.

When?

Now. Oh, and tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives.

Why?

Things can only get better for all of us!

Where?

Everywhere you go.

How?

Consider everything you do. Then try your hardest to make the best choice.

The last time I checked, there is only ONE EARTH for us to live on. International communities are realizing that the only way to function is to maintain some sort of unity. We must all work together. The only way to do this is to consider one another, and those unspoken for, and make the right choices every time we can. We can’t let money override our values. We can’t let those with the biggest voices have the power unless we know in our hearts and minds that they are working and speaking on behalf of the rest of the communities. We can’t be persuaded to view the world in a way that seems unfit just because someone influences us to think that everyone else thinks this way too. This is TYRANNY OF THE MAJORITY gone wrong and we will not tolerate it.

We all have brains, use them!
We all have hearts, use them!
We all have strength, use it!

Create the world as it ought to be
This is a goal of my lifelong education.
If I do it, will you?

Raised Garden Beds, yay!

This last weekend the first half of my dream came true! The hubby was finally convinced that building me raised garden beds would make our life much better, and I promise, it will.
The planning and research has been taking place since we purchased our home, and I knew I wanted my beds located with full afternoon sun. I found the area of our yard that isn’t shaded by a fence and instructed a landscape company to install the sod and irrigation uncentered so I would have plenty of room. He was a little surprised and it took some explaining on why our yard is over there rather than in the middle, but I think he is fine with it now.
I shopped lumber and found Redwood in 2″x10″x8′ and also 12′ at Lowe’s for a reasonable price. Had them cut the 12′ in half since I can only reach in 3′ or so -halfway from each edge meets in the middle. We joined the edges, and leveled the tops and outside corners so there is less risk for abrasions while I am leaning and working. The wood is slightly warped and each board is within 1/4″ of advertised size so there was a little leveling and balancing to make it neat and perfect. So for under $200 after tax we have two 6’x8′ raised beds. The unexpected cost was the hardware, at a whopping $5 per bracket, and two on each corner, we spent almost half on just securing the beds. I really wanted to used reclaimed wood but he wouldn’t go for it, and these are the kinds of things we compromise on. I get the garden I want, he gets to build it with the materials he wants.
We made sure to space them far enough apart so I could fit a wheelbarrow between, as well as kneel comfortably. I can access the beds from all sides as well, important since they are pretty large.
The next step is fill dirt (since we don’t have extra), topsoil, compost, and peat moss. I need to turn the existing soil beneath the beds and then mix in the above materials, plant some seed and maybe some indoor starts I will buy from either craigslist or a farmer nearby… I am so excited!
I will be planting things that I have had luck with in my mother’s garden growing up, we are the same- temperate zone 5. From seed I will start squashes, cucumbers, beans, greens, onions, chives, oregano, maybe more. I will plant tomatoes, peppers, and basil from indoor starts. I will also try to plant things between rows that attract bees for pollination (just found this gem- http://www.organicgardening.com/tags/honey-bee-menu-for-pollen-and-nectar) and ward off other pests who might be interested in consuming my harvest before it’s time. This is the learning curve, let’s see what I come up with. I am reading magazines checked out from my local library to help me with this process; Country Woman, and HGTV had the most attractive articles this time around.
So, wish me luck and if you have any tips… do share!

The Influence of Common Women

For inspiration and support, I often look up to those I respect and know well.
I am fortunate enough to say my mother is among these influential women, but there are so many more.
The best part is I don’t have to share her with that many other people, she is a great resource for strength and encouragement in my life, and she is present. I am grateful and fortunuate.

We don’t have to worship those very successful and spotlighted women, not every day at least.

Common woman can be very influential.

Look around and notice them, they are everywhere.
They are the grease in the wheels of the world.
They are the ones who smile at the deli counter because they are exchanging words with another human.
They are polite, and respectful.
They offer insight from their own precious experiences, they will help you through your harder times.

They understand the world and seek to make it better. They are setting an example every day, every minute, and they know it.

Take a minute to yourself and reflect on your influences.
Who are the common people you look up to and respect?