Don’t Assume Another Intends to Offend

Conflict is inevitable when there are multiple different interests at play.
The best thing we can do is try to look beyond the current persuasion and think kindly of others.

How often does something happen and your first instinct is that the other person sucks. It can be something so trivial as being cut off in line at the store; or a passing comment made by a stranger, leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t understand their situation as clearly as you think. There might be some very justifiable explanation for their actions, something you can’t even think of- maybe because your mind is clouded from your own busy day. It could be a bigger deal, like working with an uncooperative neighbor to pay for a fence, something that consumes hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars. Are they really just trying to get the best out of you? Resource sharing is a consistent conflict, we all want to make sure we have enough for our own personal security.

We can’t live our lives taking things so personal, assuming another person intends to offend us. How miserable to think poorly of others on a regular basis. To judge them as if they are judging you poorly. We will never fully understand other humans, only ourselves. It is up to us to assume there is no offense intended, unless of course, they make it clear that is the intent (which is not the topic here).

People get offended easily and it is much easier to blame someone else. Take ownership, be the better person, and try to understand where they are coming from. We have to each reach further than half way across the aisle to cooperate fully, leaving some wiggle room for those who aren’t quite there yet.

Be the example by choosing to see others, and their intentions, positively.

Leaders initiate opportunities.

Being a leader means you have to try first.
You initiate.
You can visualize what questions to address in order to be successful with your goal.

Where do leaders get this?
Some are driven by an internal fire to fulfill a quest, or a vision of a better future. That can be simple, as long as you know where you are going and your intentions are positive.
How do leaders do this?
Initiate conversation, open the airwaves with those around you. Most people will be surprised that if this is done cautiously and with respect for your surroundings, there are opportunities screaming your name around every corner. Create a vivid and in-touch community through your dealings.
And please, don’t just facebook status update all the crap you are selling. That is not engaging.

Example please?
Offer to volunteer, it may or may not be needed. Yesterday my offer was taken! I am happy when my local library asked for my help (after I offered of course) with the work of organizing some of the functions I actively participate in. Instead of being a patron, now I am an involved community member. A program I support is enriched through the fruits of my labor, this is better than only voting to increase the tax funding… my time adds value too. I can also bring together a few others who regularly engage in the same functions to see if they want to partner the work, or brainstorm with me, or help in the process of creating the event. I have casually accepted a potential leadership role in my community because of initiation.

Leadership is not waiting for someone else to do it for you.
In August 2011, when the first round of national budget talks fell through, my facebook status originated from frustration with all of the rhetoric from media and lawmakers. It went something like this, “Why do news writers assume it is the governments job to create jobs? Are we not ambitious enough as individuals to find and create our own opportunities?”

As you can imagine, this garnered some back and forth, but my thought is still the same. Regardless of regulations, or other strategies politics has to manipulate society according to the benefit of one party or the other… we have a collective interest to do better for ourselves and the nation as a whole. So get out there and get your skills, and get to work making your work. Don’t sit behind a desk at home, filling out mindless applications for nowhere jobs, you can do so much better than that.

 I am a leader and I am proud of my accomplishments.

So, here I am. Creating my own opportunities. It is not easy to make the first move, take the risk of putting yourself out there. If you do it, the right way for you, it will carry you forward. Not every attempt will be successful, learn from the experience and move forward.

What are you doing to initiate your opportunities??? Please share if you care….